Sunday, March 20, 2005

She's Just Being a Mother ... isms!

Do the dishes. Take off your shoes. Eat your vegetables. Leave your brother alone. Say please. Say thank you. Just wait till your father comes home. Mind your manners. Mind your mother. Tuck in your shirt. Because I am your mother. Don't sass me, mister. Don't chew with your mouth open. Shape up. Wipe that smile off your face. Where do you think you are going? Don't pick at it. I love you. You're driving me crazy. There is no such thing as the bogeyman. What are you doing in there? Get your finger out of your nose. The kitchen is closed. You can look but don't touch. Scrub the toilet. Pick up your room. Dinner is ready. Don't lie to me. Don't play rough. Don't be naughty. Feed the dog. I am not your maid. Listen to me. Smoking is bad for you. Don't tease the cat. Don't you dare. This hurts me more than it hurts you. I'll give you something to cry about. Ask your father. Be nice. You are full of the devil. You deserve a spanking. Get out of there this instant! Drink your milk. You'll poke your eye out. You have to go to church. Go to sleep. Stop it. You're just like your father. I don't care who started it. I don't care if everybody is doing it. I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap. You look just like your father. Put away your toys. Shape up or ship out. You're giving me a headache. Change your underwear. Don't make me come in there. Don't hurt yourself. Grow up.

1 comment:

PKD said...

Then he made his evening devotions, although he made them with slightly less enthusiasm than usual. It is one thing to pray; it is another to pray to entities who might not only be listening, but who will search you out on the road and beat you across the head with sticks if you say something that offends them.