Saturday, March 19, 2005

Old Maid for Hire...

The care of my two cats through several nights cause me to fall asleep preparing for the only fun I have: bowling with the Show-League. A friend of mine decided to get me a maid, and cautions me to handle the interview like a real businessman. He encourages me to be firm, and establish the relationship between me and the maid at the start, and ensure the woman will know what her hours and duties will be. When the maid, Mrs. Dillon, arrives, 'she' gives me her availability of hours and inquires about the household having certain appliances before I had a chance to be the boss. She prepares lunch for me: a peanut butter sandwich. I would have preferred roast beef and lettuce, or some jelly and milk with the sandwich, but Mrs. Dillon had already eaten those. She said, "If I didn't have a salad, I'd have starved to death!" Eventually, I felt like I'm working for the maid and suggested to my friend that we let her go with a good recommendation and a week's pay. We were unable to say that to the stern woman, so I schemed with my friend to make Mrs. Dillon quit by messing up my apartment and, additionally, my friend smeared the kitchen with peanut butter, mustard and molasses. When my mom came in and saw the mess, she told me she carried out my wish and fired Mrs. Dillon.

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